In the 70's, when I was a teenager, I loved watching Valerie Bertinelli play another teenager - Barbara Cooper - on "One Day at a Time." I thought she was a good actress, and I thought she was pretty.
In 1981, at 20, Valerie married Eddie Van Halen. Later they had a son, and they stayed married until they separated in 2001 and divorced in 2007. (Now Valerie is with Tom Vitale.) Along the way Valerie put on pounds. That's what happens along the way - you put on pounds. But today, at 48 years of age, she looks fantastic. I have not read Valerie's book, but it's on my list. I'm interested in her journey.
(Cougar women like younger men - Valerie isn't dating a man under 30, but you may want to think about Valerie as inspiration for a cougar story for my new anthology - The Cougar Book.)
I've always liked Valerie Bertinelli because she's real. She's never been a manufactured Barbie doll - she's real.
But real does not mean unhealthy.
Many women say that women should accept their bodies, no matter what the weight, and that being subjected to images of women in bikinis just contributes to a lack of self esteem and eating disorders.
Yes. You should accept your body for what it is - if you're taking care of it. If you're smoking, eating junk food and/or not exercising - talk to me about self acceptance when you're healthy.
At 46, I want to eat right, exercise, and I don't want to smoke or take drugs. I want to force myself to get enough sleep, even though I'm crazy busy, and I'll have my wine in moderation.
When I do that I can naturally fit into a bikini. That doesn't mean I'm starving myself.
Let's make that clear.
I am not a Jenny Craig customer or candidate. However, I looked at Bertinelli's blog and I like it because it's motivational. Go here for her blog.
6 comments:
We are taught from a very early age to be dissatisfied with our bodies/looks. It is difficult to have a positive self-image when it starts distorted.
That being said, several months ago, I was visiting my mother and looking through her old photographs. There was a picture of my mother and my aunts. Each had carried at least two children. They were in their late 30s at this point. None of them were overweight or even chunky. I think not only do we battle image, but we battle the crap that is in our food. There is so much in our food that we can't pronounce, let alone we probably shouldn't be eating.
One thing to remember about Valerie, she has private trainers and other people helping her. She might be eating the Jenny Craig diet, but she also has the resources to have someone cook for her.
Don't be so hard on yourself. You are a beautiful women. :)
Marci
Hi Marci,
Thanks for stopping by and for your kind words.
If I'm too lazy to exercise or if I eat something that I shouldn't - I'm hard on myself. I probably shouldn't be in some cases, but I don't think we should treat our bodies like garbage dumps.
You're so right that there is a lot of crap in food. But we have a choice there, too - if we're educated about food. I know that grocery store pizza is bad for me. I know that an organic apple is good for me. I'm hard on myself if I eat the stuff I know is bad for me and that contributes to weight gain.
I'm 46 now and in menopause. (I haven't had a period in over a year and a half.) I'm done with the pre-menopause crap and I'm feeling better now. Now it's just of matter of treating myself well and staying healthy. I look younger than I am, which I like, but I mainly just want to be healthy.
Jolie
I try to eat right and excercise, but it's still a struggle. I think if I had a personal trainer whipping my ass, I would be in better shape.
I do give Valerie kudos for losing all that weight. She does look awesome and is an inspiration to all the forty something women out there.
Hi Kelley,
Yes, it's a struggle for sure. I'd have no excuse if I had a personal trainer. (Too expensive. LOL) That's why I try to understand people like Oprah. She can afford a cook, a personal trainer - you name it. Yet, she struggles with weight. A lot of it comes down to will power. No one is going to lose the weight for me. No one is going to exercise for me. It's up to me. So, it's up to Oprah, no matter how rich she is.
Jolie
I guess I'm the opposite. I've lived with the looks, the teasing, the disappointment, the images, the stereotypes etc. all my life. Yes, I'm overweight. Have I tried to lose weight, go to the gym, etc? Yes. Have I been successful? Yes...and no.
That's why I wrote MESSALINA and created my Full-Bodied (Book) Blog.
It shouldn't matter if I'm a size 2 or 22. People should see me for more than my size.
Hi Zetta,
Does skinny mean healthy? Not always. Does big mean unhealthy? Not always.
I'm all about being honest with Jolie. Jolie is not honest with herself if I say I feel good when I eat whatever I want and gain weight. I don't feel good. I get tired easier. I get irritated easier.
I feel better when I eat right and exercise. As a consequence of my eating right and exercising, I lose weight, I have more energy and my attitude is better.
I'm not always one to follow what society prefers. For example, my hair is cut short like a dude's. I like it that way. It's what I want for myself.
What I want for my life is to do the things I need to do to live the life I want. Valerie Bertinelli was not happy at the weight she was. She used food for comfort and didn't feel good physically. Now she feels better.
Oprah has been complaining about her weight for the last 20 years, it seems. I'm not sure what's going on with her, but if she were happy with her weight - she'd shut up about it.
It shouldn't matter if a person is a size 2 or a size 22 if that person is happy with being a size 2 or a size 22. My girlfriend is a large woman. She's also a vegan and exercises daily. She's large because that's her body type. She's happy with her body type and is healthier than me and a lot of thin people I know.
Thin is my natural body type. I become larger when I don't exercise and when I don't eat right. For me to say I'm happy when I don't exercise and don't eat right would be dishonest.
At 46, I've been striving for honesty in my life. I fail a lot, but I keep trying.
Jolie
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